Recovery & Tough Love
by RomanceGirlXXTsundereLuverxxX
Summary: Buffy travels to London, where Angel and Faith currently reside after months of being apart. This determined Slayer is by no means letting Angel make any more mistakes. Resurrecting Giles, especially in a world with no magick, is one step too far. For the sake of Giles and Angel ... she has no choice. Spoilers for Buffy Season 8 & 9. Full Summary Inside.
1. Chapter 1: London Visit

**Recovery & Tough Love**

**Full Summary: **Buffy Summers, Slayer prodigy, has made a home in San Francisco, California returning to her birth country. After the disasterous and sucky year of Twilight, she now struggles to put together her life and seek normalcy(as much as a Slayer can anyway). All the while, she deals with the consequences of destroying the Seed and the loss of magic as a result. To add to more turmoil, Buffy's best friend/witch Willow is obsessed with returning magick to the world and Buffy's friends distance themselves from her. Even ever-faithful Spike left her, leaving her in a period of isolation. But to add insult to injury, Buffy falls upon a startling revelation: Angel, Buffy's ex (who she currently has a very complicated relationship following the end of magic) is obsessed with resurrecting Rupert Giles, the man he had killed in a possessed state and who was her beloved watcher/father-figure. Mixed emotions conflicting inside her, Buffy reluctantly pays a visit to Angel and fellow Slayer Faith after several months of separation. Her motivation: To stop Angel from making the wrong choices ... to the point of no return.

**Main Pairings: **Since I truly have no flipping clue if Buffy still loves Angel after murdering Giles right in front of her in the finale of _Season Eight_(Thanks, Joss. Love the ambiguity), I'm not gonna say Buffy loves Angel in this. Angel's feelings will be outright stated('Cause at least I know his feelings) but Buffy's will be ambigious. Bangel will be the main relationship in this though. Take it anyway you want: Friendship, Romance. Whatever. However, it's a canonical fact that Buffy does still care for him which is why I know this one-shot will not seem out of character. Implied Spuffy, Buffy/Giles bond(paternal), and Fuffy(Complicated/strained friendship).

**Timeline: **Because my musie wanted to, it's set after the _Angel & Faith _arc **_Family__ Reunion _**and _Buffy Season 9 _story arc **_Guarded_**. Now I know the story arc isn't even on Part 3 yet at the time I publish this but what can I say? I brainstormed, I wrote :P. And for those of you fans who do not count the comics, you're in denial. Joss Whedon is the Executive Producer, ergo they count :P.

**Disclaimer: **I sadly do not own Buffy or anything Buffyverse-related. If I did, Angel would not have killed Giles, Angel would learn from his damn mistakes and not get worse like Joss is currently portraying him, Fred would still be alive, and so many other things that happened wouldn't have. It's too long for me to list in one disclaimer the things I would like to change XD.

**A/N: It truly surprises me how little fanfics are written that take place in the comic seasons. I wonder if it's because people don't know about them or just hate them? Anyway, here's my story. Like it or hate it :D. My inspiration for this was my pent up frustration that Buffy is not helping Angel from the path he's on yet which I truly think only she can save him from. Faith tries but come on. She's no Buffy. **

_Constructive critizism is welcomed :)_

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Recovery & Tough Love

What the hell was she doing? Was she nuts? Setting herself up for more heartbreak and pain? _'As if I don't have enough of that.' _Buffy thought moodily, throwing her bag on the chair in irritation. Knowing her and her dazzling life that continued to surprise her at every turn, she probably was setting herself up for more pain. Somehow, she always was. _'What the hell am I doing?' _Buffy questioned, rubbing her temples in frustration. _'This will in no way go well.' _Buffy knew this with a certainty. But somehow, she was now on a plane. Alone. Travelling to the last place she wanted to go. Or at least that's what she told herself.

London, England. _'Home of scones, Oxford, and uptight, tweed-jacket wearing guys.' _Buffy huffed inwardly, failing to lighten her mood with her glib and wit. Buffy took on a thoughtful expression, putting her hand under her chin on reflex. _'Ooh and tea! Can't forget tea.' _ But at that wandering, mostly random thought, Buffy felt nostalgia and grief tighten her insides painfully. Giles always drank tea. It was like his british version of aspirin or something. She sighed, blinking back the tears she refused to let fall. _'Don't be Cry Buffy. You've done enough of crying for like ... your whole life.' _Buffy chastied herself. She missed Giles more than words could even describe. He was like her rock, her anchor when times where hard. But then again, all her friends were at one point. _'But like everyone else, they just leave .. or realize something was wrong with me.' _Buffy could not shake off the depressing feeling of loneliness and incompetence that she's felt for years. Okay, maybe she was being a little petty and whiny. But petty and whiny Buffy was what she wanted to be right now.

Willow was off trying to bring magick back, alone without her help. Which served as a constant reminder of her decision to destroy the seed. Willow insisted to her that was never angry with her, but Buffy could not truly believe her friend's words. Willow was her best friend and she trusted her but Buffy also knew how gentle the witch was. She could have easily been trying to spare her feelings of guilt by telling her so. Xander ... well she didn't really know what to think of him. He's been avoiding her for so long. Sure she saw him once and while but he seemed ... distant. Buffy frowned. _'Come to think of it, he's really testy lately. Like 'vaguely Jekyel and Hyde' testy. Dawnie's been saying so too.' _Buffy sighed loudly and buried her face in her hands, too immersed in her own thoughts to recall she was even on a airplane. _'All of this started ever since the Seed. They won't admit it but they all blame me for this! Why can't they understand? I was trying to save the world ... again.' _Buffy thought in dismay, feeling utterly lost.

Only Spike understood. _'And his name brings up another can of worms I didn't want to touch on tonight. Or ever, actually. As if Angel's bad enough.' _Buffy wanted her bleak, depressing thoughts to just go away but they were stubborn. They stood fixed in her mind like cobwebs, refusing to leave. Forcibly they fixed on Spike. Even Spike, the one person she felt she could always count on when she needed someone ... leaves her. Like Angel before him. Part of her couldn't blame him. She spend so much time trying to keep a distance between them him but come to him when she needed someone to lean on. _'Without even really knowing I was, I guess I have been jerking him around, as he so eloquently put it.' _Buffy acknowledged sadly. Deep down, she knew him leaving was for the best. For him, anyway. But the other part of her, the selfish part, missed him terribly. When he left San Franciso, her mind had been screaming at her to stop him. To beg him to stay so she wouldn't be alone. But she couldn't. For Spike's sake ... she just couldn't. _'Even Spike deserves someone better than me. Not Miss-Indecisive-Always-Taking-Advantage-Girl.' _Buffy could admit that, no matter how much it hurt. She knew Spike loved her and cared for her. She cared for him too and she knew she loved him. She had meant it when she told him that. But the question that always remained was she actually _in _love with him? Spike didn't seem to think so but what did he know? Buffy's brow furrowed. That was one question she could never answer. Not since he got his soul for her. Buffy groaned in frustration. She wish she knew what she wanted from him, but it still escaped her after all these years.

And finally, her whirlwind of thoughts(which she assumed was from boredom sitting in a hours-long flight) rested on the taboo word/person she had tried her best to _not _think about over the several months. Did she succede? Not completely but she found out she was _very _good at repressing. _'That's one of my best assets, after all. Repress and put on a fake cheery face.' _Buffy pointed out, slightly proud of that ability. Over the years, she had done that so many times: When Angel lost his soul, when she sent Angel to Hell once returning to Sunnydale, Angel breaking up with her, Getting ripped out of Heaven(Okay, not her best repressing act but it worked a little right?), Spike burning up, Giles's death, and yes Angel completely. _'Angel seems to be the case of a lot of my repressing.' _Buffy noted, slightly surprised. Her friends were able to almost believe she was fine and that she was over what happened. _'Lies but whatever stops them from worrying.' _Buffy conceded. Her friends had their lives to live. They shouldn't be worrying about her.

_'Angel.' _Buffy felt her heart constrict with so many different emotions. Sadness was one of the major ones, followed by anger. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't mad at him. She was. In fact, she was pissed off as hell towards him, for more than one reason. It was because of his stupidness that Giles had gotten killed but she never could find it in her to blame him completely for that. Not like her friends, who had immediately cast the entire blame on him. _'It's my fault, too. If I've been stronger, I wouldn't have let that dumb Twilight glow take advantage of my feelings. None of this would have happened. Or if I had somehow stopped Giles from going towards the seed, Angel wouldn't have ...-" _Buffy shook her head abruptly, unable to finish her train of thought. Truthfully, she knew the anger was covering up her true emotions. The truth was she was worried about him, but also disapointed. To Buffy's frustration, she knew she still cared for him. More than she could admit to herself. She knew that with such painful clarity but her emotions was so conflicting she could not tell if she was still in love with him. _' Why me. Why can't I for once, not be some crazy nutcase when it comes to my own feelings.' _

Angry with her own confusing heart, she put her head in the pillow on the airplane chair, resisting the urge to scream into it. She was in public after all and something that embarassing would be the death of her. _'I know Angel's little plan. Could he be so careless?! Resurrecting Giles? I have to stop him. Save him .. somehow. I know Faith promised me she'd take care of it but I can't do nothing anymore. Angel needs help, more than what she could offer.' _With a steely determination and anxiety battling inside her, she decided to attempt to sleep. Unsurprisingly, little sleep came.

* * *

Hours later

Buffy stood in front of the Giles's estate in the nightime air, not helping herself from looking at in awe. _'Wow. A guy like him ... owning this place. You'd never think he lived here back when he was a slacker.' _Buffy thought, remembering a time when Giles had been a deadbeat, unemployed librarian after she blew up Sunnydale High. Fired from the Watcher's Council, he had pretty much no direction. But her brief moments of wonder were abruptly squashed when reality came calling. Buffy felt the familar sorrow pierce her heart as she remembered the last time she had been here. Giles had handed over everything he owned to Faith, even horses in his will. Buffy still felt fresh grief and failure hit her as she relived that terrible memory, Giles only leaving her the Vampyr book. _'True Slayer, huh?' _Buffy scoffed bitterly, recalling Faith's words to her when she handed her the book. _'Some great Slayer I've turned out to be.' _Buffy thought cynically.

Pushing the terrible feelings aside, Buffy walked up slowly towards the door. Anixety builded up inside her, trying to brace herself for the inevitably painful reunion she was about to go through. _'Maybe I should just leave.'_ Buffy hedged briefly. _'No! I have to do this. Angel needs me. Come on, don't be a scaredy cat. Be fearless Buffy.' _Mustering up her resolve and courage before she lost again altogether, she rapped strongly on the front door.

It was silence for several seconds. _'Come on! Hurry up and answer! Since when is silence this loud!' _Buffy thought angrily, her impatience quickly getting better of her. Finally, she heard the door move heavily and slowly. Instantly, her anxiety returned in huge uncomfortable knots, feeling almost every emotion.

The person in front of her made her feel guiltily relieved and the tenseness in her body automatically disappeared. _'Oh. Just her.' _Buffy sighed quietly at that, finally thinking she could handle this.

"B! What're you doing you here?!" claimed a sultry, shocked voice of her greatest frenemy.

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**A/N: **This story will be pretty short compared to my first one. A few chapters at most. But I really love this idea XD. Helps me surrive the long period of ambigious Buffy feelings for Angel :D. I would love to hear your thoughts in reviews on how I did the characters or just support would be great :)

I'm pretty proud of this chapter :P.


	2. Chapter 2: Slayer Argument

**A/N: **This story is kinda like my baby right now XD. I really enjoy writing and imagining this, even though this story isn't as nearly as popular as my first story. I do think that for the most part anyway, the scenes in this would go somewhat like this :P. If you feel any of the characters are out of character, please tell me :). I **hate **OOCness in any story, even my own(which I might unintentionally do sometimes. If so, please point it out!). **Anyway, on to the chapter! **

_**Constructive Critizism is much appreciated if any is found :)**_

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Slayer Argument

Faith stared in wide-eyed shock, rendered speechless after her sharp exclamation of surprise. She had never in her wildest dreams expected a visit like this. Sure, Willow had been sort of a shock too when she showed up not too long ago but it was nothing compared to this. But right before her eyes was the small blonde Slayer that she was convinced would be the last person to ever be here.

Noticing Faith's stunned, confused expression, Buffy smirked in amusement at her expense. "Surprised to see me?" Buffy asked innocently, not really needing an answer. The look on her face couldn't give her a better response.

" Understatement of the century, B." Faith replied, shaking her head. Fully acknowledging her presence, the brunette felt puzzlement and dismay wring through her. _' This can't be good. Don't want B to put Angel on the deep end again. Babysitting a brooding vamp isn't easy. If it's even possible, she might make things worse.' _Faith did not say her worries out loud, not really wanting to sound like a bitch in asking her to leave. Especially if she had travelled all the way from San Francisco.

However, Buffy remained oblivious to the dark Slayer's disconcerting musings. Trying to ignore the knots in her stomach that _still _hadn't went away, she went to her default glib and false light-hearted mood. "Should we hug?" Buffy quipped.

Snapping out of her dark thoughts, Faith smirked and gave a shake of her head. "Screw that." She denied playfully, turning towards the inside of the house. "You coming?" Faith asked, giving a sidelong glance towards her sister Slayer. Buffy was still standing in the doorway with her arms crossed as usual.

Buffy nodded hesitantly, stepping into the doorway and following after her. Not helping herself from giving the impressive place a once over, she realized one thing(or the be accurate, one person) that she did not see. She frowned, bringing herself to ask the question she partly didn't want an answer to. With some difficultly, Buffy forced it out. "Where's-"

"Angel?" Faith interrupted, already guessing what she was trying to say. Reaching the living room area(Or what Buffy assumed was the living room. There were couches!), she plopped down on it comfortably. "Out. Dude get's all antsy and leaves to patrol or something. Offered to come but he shot me down." Faith said in slight annoyance. She was always ready for a good slay! "You know him and his whole 'Lone Ranger' complex going on. Shouldn't be gone more than a few hours." Faith stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh." Buffy said quietly, trying to not let her relief show in her voice or facial expressions. Yeah, she came to help. She had a misson that she WOULD complete, no matter how much she just wanted to have the floor suck her up and be ... _not _here. Anywhere but _not_ here. It was for Giles's soul(Wherever that was. Hopefully in heaven) ... and of course, her incredibly lost, misguided ex. _'But facing Angel again after everything that happened ... I almost think it's too much for me to handle. I don't know how to treat him anymore! A sympathetic victim or a unforgivible murderer like ALL of my friends see him as? God, my life sucks ... x100 lately.' _Buffy mentally grumbled, trying to push away her increasingly upsetting train of thought. One thing was for sure though: She did NOT want to see Angel right now. She felt anger, sadness, and pain at the mere thought of it!

Sitting on the couch opposite of her fellow Slayer, a awkward silence settled between them. Not really knowing what to say to her ... friend(Was Faith even her friend? A frenemy? God she was just as unsure of that as she was about Angel. But she wasn't beating her up, bossing her around, or considering her a failure like most of the remaining Slayers have since the end of magic, so she considered that a plus), Buffy just sat there.

Faith wasn't any better than she was, a millon questions running through her head at her sudden appearance. Not able to handle the stifling quiet any longer, she blurted out "So, how's life?" she asked good-naturedly.

Buffy looked relieved at her coming up with something to say, before her expression fell a little at the context. _'How's life? REAL sucky, wacky, and lonely.' _She answered silently and immediately but refused to voice it. Smiling a bit, she replied. "Ya know. The usual. Zompires, fallouts, _guilt_, payment, life literally going no direction." Buffy's delicate face scrunched up in a angry scowl. "And a robot thing. Boy that was fun." The memory of Andrew's little good deed('Screw up' deed to her) of switching her body with a robot to have a _normal _life without telling her.

Faith looked at her in surprised curiousity, her doe-eyed, dark eyes searching. "Robot deal, huh? "

Seeing the brunette's undisguised intrigue, Buffy grimaced. "Don't ask for details. Let's just say I had a _tiny _bit of an identity crisis followed by a wonderful trip to Heartbreak City. And it's all Andrew's fault. Important part: Still slaying." Buffy said in finality, trying to avoid thinking back to Spike's departure.

"Andrew? Not surprised. The annoying, little wuss seems like the type to screw things up." Faith stated with some semblence of sympathy at Buffy's hard life lately.

"Believe me, you have _no _idea." Buffy said meaningfully. She cocked her head and looked at her teasingly. "How's your life going post-Twilight? It's your share time now."

"Damn. I was hoping you wouldn't ask." Faith replied in mock annoyance. "Anyway, nothing real special. Slaying, bad decisions. Rehablitation, for more than one person." She said vaguely, remembering Nadira's vengence crusade and Angel's secretive attitude. _'Damnit. Why does it gotta be me who has to deal with all this crap?' _Faith thought, genuinely frustrated. But as Willow once told her, there wasn't anyone else to deal with the baggage, especially Angel's. Buffy couldn't do it, probably still couldn't after what she went through. So it had to be her.

"You too, huh?" Buffy asked, noting Faith's tired expression despite her nonchalant tone.

"Naw. I can deal. Still sucks dick, but I can handle it." Faith reassured, wishing she felt as sure as she sounded. Anxiety and curiousity warred within her and she fixed Buffy with a questioning frown. "Look, B. Not that I don't want you here or anything," _'Though I kinda don't.' _Faith contradicted, leaving the thought unspoken. "But why're you here? Didn't you say-"

" Don't _ever _call or contact me in any way whatsoever, unless I come to you. And that's a huge _if_." Buffy recited, recalling her exact words to Faith after leaving Angel in her care. Now, some part of her felt guilty abandoning him but at that time, she had only felt aching relief for her offer. Angel wouldn't be killed('Cause no matter how angry and disturbed she was then/now, she certainly did not want him staked. Thankfully, Faith didn't either.)

Faith nodded in confirmation. "Yeah. I mean you sounded pretty firm and serious about it."

Buffy sighed. "I was. But it turns out the 'when' is the 'now'. Which is also the 'here'. " Buffy babbled, before training off with a frown. "Sorry. Kinda went off tangent on that one."

"Happens." Faith shrugged.

Buffy's expression changed, her green eyes serious. "Disregarding this delightful, slightly uncomfortable banter, this isn't a social call. I'm only here because I have to be."

"Figured as much. Besides the fact it's dumb to take a plane to England for a social call, I didn't think you'd _want _to be here unless it was important. So, spill." Faith demanded.

"Angel." Buffy said simply.

The dark Slayer's eyes widened in disbelief. "Really?! You're kidding, right? Last time I saw you you spent the entire time avoiding him and insisted you didn't want anything to do with him."

Buffy sighed again resignedly, feeling a bit of her guilt coming back. " I did and I ... still don't. Not really, anyway. I ... just haven't gotten over everything that happened. I don't know when or if I ever really will." Buffy admitted truthfully. "But it doesn't matter. Angel needs me here and I can't just sit back and pretend he doesn't. Not anymore." She said firmly.

Faith stared at her, her eyes wary. " Angel didn't call you, did he?"

Buffy shook her head. "No and if he did, I probably would have ignored it." She said flatly.

"Good. 'Cuz I told him to give you some time and chill. Not that I had to really make an effort. Angel was too horrified and guilty of everything he did to you to even _try _to talk to you." Faith revealed. "So I guess he wouldn't have the guts to call you. Seems like a no-brainer that he didn't. Stupid me." Faith frowned and shook her head. "Guess according to him, he put you through enough suffering to bother your life again. Hate to say I kinda agree with him." She said honestly, sympathy stirring her heart at him. _'God, that dude really loves her a lot. It must've been killing him on the inside that B didn't want to see him, no matter whatever the hell he said. Come to think of it ... didn't he do the same with Connor?' _Faith recalled, remembering all those times Angel ignored Connor's calls and insisted his life was better without him. Yet he had been happy to be with his son and they finally got closer. _'For a vamp who makes more mistakes than anyone I know, he is one hell of a matyr.' _Faith pondered.

Buffy smiled sadly. "Seems like something he would do. Guess that's one thing about him that didn't change."

"Don't tell me you're surprised." Faith replied incredulously. "Everyone knows how he feels about you, B. You're his golden girl!"

Buffy was quiet for a minute, averting the brunette's gaze. "I know." She said finally, in a soft voice. Truthfully, she didn't know what to think of that anymore. At one point, she might have been happy. Now she was ... tired. Angry and weighed down in guilt. Lots and lots of it.

"So why do you think he needs you? No offense but you being here might just make a bigger mess." Faith said truthfully, finally working out the courage to tell her.

Buffy looked confused for a moment. "What are you talking about? I need to be here."

"And as much as love some help from you finally, I don't want him to see you and go into catatonia again. It was bad enough the first time and I do not wanna deal with it twice." She stated bluntly, her expression concerned. "He has a hell of a lot of guilt. You being a big part of it."

Buffy bit her lip, startled by the dark Slayer's words. " Faith, I get it. But I have to try anyway. I can't do nothing."

"Suit yourself if you're so stubborn about it." She replied, still feeling annoyance with Buffy for wanting to stay. "But you never explained to me _why _Angel needs you here."

Buffy braced herself, inhaling a sharp intake of breath. "He's ... he's ressurrecting Giles, Faith. I'm not gonna let it happen. I can't." She said firmly.

Faith's eyes widened in shock. _'Damnit. B wasn't supposed to know this! Don't tell me Red told her.' _Faith wondered in anger, only for the thought to be dismissed as quickly as it was there. _'No. She wouldn't do that. She didn't want Buffy involved with this.' _"You know? How?" Faith queried.

Buffy narrowed her eyes. " You knew, didn't you?" Buffy questioned tightly, standing up from the couch and staring her down. "You knew about this!" She shouted angrily, her voice tinged with accusation.

Faith stood up and put her hands up in a calming gesture, noting how her tiny fists were clenched and how tense her shoulders were. "Chill, B. Let's just talk this out and-"

" How could you _let _this happpen, Faith?! Are you that naive? Bringing people back from the dead only causes suffering for everyone. I know better than anyone just how much pain it causes." Buffy snapped, too angry to hear Faith out. She loved Giles and she would give anything to see him again but this? This was reckless and she'd burn in hell before letting Giles going through the same suffering she did.

Hearing the familar self-righteous tone of Buffy, Faith felt anger swirl inside her. _'She's always judging ... never giving me a chance, no matter what I do.' _Faith felt bitterness and some type of regret at this revelation. She would never admit just how much she wanted Buffy to respect and see her as a friend but every chance she got, Buffy just wouldn't let her in. "I know, already! I'm not some idiot. It's not like I don't see the risks or anything. Hell, I consider them every frickin day, B!" Faith retorted defensively, her hand coming to rest on her forehead in exsasperation.

" _Consider!? _It's wrong. Okay yeah, it probably wouldn't work. Because of the end of magic. We both know that. But what if it does? Giles might not come back as the same person I knew. And Angel ... god. What the hell is he thinking? Just _how _delusional is he?!" Buffy muttered furiously.

" I know all of that. G told me all about resurrection. It's Angel's plan and I have to support him and help him through it. That's what I told you I would do, B." Faith said in a hard tone, still nowhere near calm.

" Some bang-up job you're doing so far." Buffy replied cuttingly, her tone sarcastic. " You're supposed to _save _him, not go along with Angel's misguided little quest."

Faith walked away from her, not wanting to stay in place any longer. Fury and hurt still surging in her belly, she whipped around. " And what right do you have to tell me what to do? If anything, he's your job. Not my responsibility. Everyone just shoves their problems on good 'ole Faithy without even wondering how I feel about it."

Buffy stared at her levelly, her green eyes angry with a tinge of guilt. " You offered. And besides, there were factors. I couldn't-"

" Bullshit, B. You just didn't wanna deal with your problems so you shoved 'em on me. I went along with it, because I owed Angel for bringing me back. "

" He killed Giles, Faith! You expect me to just act like everything was normal and deal? I couldn't. I barely can right now." Buffy shot back, her voice breaking slightly as her torrent of emotions threatened to engulf her.

" Exactly my point. I get it, B. I do. Giles died and you couldn't handle it." Faith said, slightly more gently then before. " That's why I knew you couldn't be the one to help him him. You needed to forgive him enough to hit that milestone and you were as far off the radar as you could get. But that doesn't change the fact that it should be _you _handling him. Not me." She said pointedly.

Buffy stared at Faith, misery flooding her entire body. _'She's right ... God, she's right. I've been so selfish.' _ " I know, Faith. And ... I'm sorry. I didn't think about it like that."

Faith looked back at her solemnly before sighing in exhaustion. Tense silence stretched between them for a moment before Faith broke it. " You don't get it, B. I'm not going along with it because I think it's right. I don't. " Faith said truthfully, shaking her head slightly. " You have no idea how lost he is. Dude's teetering on the edge to be honest, even though he won't admit it. The only thing that's given him any purpose from falling right back into full-brood catatonia is this. He thinks you hate him so that's not making anything better. " Faith said, gesturing to Buffy who looked a way for a moment _' I don't hate him.' _She denied silently. _'But I still gave up on him.' _ Buffy acknowledged guiltily.

Faith continued after pausing briefly. " It's dumb and it's wack but it's what's keeping him going. Redemption. "

" And what if it only makes things worse?" Buffy asked bluntly, sympathy towards Angel developing unwillingly inside her.

" I'm just coming along for the ride, B. Trying to pay him back and do my part. Encouraging this insane plan _is _my part. If that's what keeps him from worse, then that's what I'm doing." Faith said firmly. " I'm not you. I can't convince him outta it without the risk of him ... well, you know. Hell, I'm not sure if even_ you_ could." Faith admitted doubtfully, her face frustrated.

" I have to try. I can't let him do this. It's for both their sakes. " Buffy said, her face set in a determined, hard line.

" Go ahead. It ain't gonna be easy." Faith replied matter-of-factly.

Before Buffy could say anything else, a screeching sound came from the direction from the doorway, signalling the arrival of someone. Buffy knew with a certainty who that _someone _was.

Faith turned in the direction, slightly surprised. "Damn. Looks like it's time to get down to business."

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**A/N: Did I make the mood too light-hearted in the beginning? Oh well XD. I still found writing that part really fun :P. I enjoyed the talk Buffy had with Faith about Angel and resurrecting Giles. I see it as going like this in some aspects :D. I hope I kept the characters in character :) and of course XD ... I'm sure you can guess who's finally here ;). Next chapter will be fairly dramatic XD.**

_Reviews I love to read! :D_


	3. Chapter 3: Depressing Reflections

**A/N:** Long time for a update I know XD. But I've been busy with many other things, including very annoying sickness :P. I'm not 100% fond of my story so far and I feel I could do better in some areas but hey, it's my first Buffy fic y'know XD. I'm very fond of the idea itself though and I wonder if it will really play out similarly in canon when Buffy founds out he's going to ressurrect Giles (**IF** she finds out. It's clear she doesn't know in Season Nine at the moment). Buffy coming to stop Angel despite still not forgiving him at the moment seems in character to me :D and don't worry: Practically no light-heartedness in this one. Pure angst XD which I guess is to be expected. :)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Buffy or anything related to it's making. That's the wonderful Joss Whedon. But if I did, Tara would have never been shot and Willara would still be canon, Harmony would be staked already (Still have no idea how's she's still alive. She's completely incompetant), and Cordelia would have definitely never passed on ( I miss her XD)!

_Constructive Critizism is much appreciated if there is any! ;)_

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The Dreaded Confrontation

Buffy's entire body tensed when she heard the door to the estate open. So many different emotions cascaded through her heart like a waterfall, none of them pleasant. Mostly, she felt anger. She could scarcely believe that on his road to redeem himself again, _this _was what he had come up with. Of all things, it had to be ressurrection. It wasn't like she didn't want Giles back. Ever since watching him die right in front of her eyes, she had felt nothing but loss and a aching sense of hopelessness that she refused to ever show completely. Part of her screamed at her to let Angel do it, to bring him back. Buffy wanted nothing else but that to come true.

At one point in her life, she might have been weak enough to give in, just to not be alone anymore. To have Giles watch her back and listen to his at times annoying stammers or read through his books being the stuffy, old guy that he was. But she changed. Buffy wasn't the same naive teenager she was and the years of hardship and suffering had weathered her as such. No matter how tempting it was for her to have her father figure return, she would never forgive herself for ripping him of his peace. Buffy remembered her traumatic ressurrection with a painful clarity and all the emptiness she had felt afterwards. Giles deserved rest and peace in Heaven. She was sure he was there and to take that away from him knowingly ... was just heartless to her. He, of all people, never needed to go through that process. Buffy never wanted Giles to deal with what she did and she'd die before she let it happen. Besides her own personal reasons, it was also pure logic to her. There was no magic in the world thanks to yours-truly and it should be physically impossible. If it _somehow _did work, nothing good would come out of it. It never did on normal cirumstances to begin with, what made it any different now? If anything, the consequences would be even worse.

So yes, she felt totally justified to admit just how pissed off she was right now. She almost wanted to kick Angel's ass but her typical Slayer instinct might not be the right course of action. She could admit to that but that didn't make her any less frustrated or fighty. _' After this is over, I need a serious zompire to beat the crap outta, stat.' _Buffy noted, deciding that pretty soon she was gonna patrol London to do just that. It always made her feel at least a little bit better in the past. Wasn't any different now that's for sure.

Faith looked uneasy. _' Crap. He's back, already?! I wasn't finished handling B yet. She's already riled up. It's obvious.' _Buffy's shoulders were tense and her expression was incredibly somber, a touch of anger shining in her hazel eyes. _' Buffy really shouldn't of came. Damn B and her stubborness. ' _Faith put a hand on her shoulder, causing Buffy to turn her head at her.

" Go easy on him, B. He's being dumb. We covered that and all but his mind's pretty screwed over right now. You can't start shouting at him and accusing him right off the bat. " Buffy stared at her incredulously, her mouth opening as if to stay something but the Dark slayer cut her off. " The vamp's pretty fragile, remember? Gentle handling is what you do. "

" And what's 'gentle handling' getting you so far? " Buffy retorted, her voice tinly veiled with sarcasm. " Obviously not by leaps and bounds. "

Faith glared at her slightly, annoyed. " It's the only option for me, B. Anything else and he'll fly off the track. I'm not liking this anymore than you, remember? " She reiterated forcefully, refering their conversation several minutes ago.

Buffy pulled away from her hand on her shoulder. " You can't just do _nothing, _Faith. Angel needs to realize he's making a mistake. He wants to avoid that, right? Well, I'm helping. " She whispered back. " Okay yeah, you have to be sorta easy with him to get anywhere. But you can't be _this _cool about it. That's why I'm here. Why I _had _to came. " Buffy insisted firmly, her tone unwavering.

" Here's the difference, B. You don't understand what he's going through. I do." Faith began in a hushed, serious tone. " Yeah, you have one advantage in this situation that I _don't_. You're still _his _slayer, at least to him. I'm not the one he has mushy feelings for. Not my part to play. He might actually listen to you because of how he feels for you. " Faith conceded easily. " But _you _have never killed a innocent person and then deal with the conscience afterwards. _You _never lost control and went off the deep end. Me? I'm practically the poster child for screwing up majorly. Atonement? Redemption? You can never understand that B, even if you want to. That's why it had to be me who took him in. _You _know that. " Faith said confidently, completely believing every word.

" Faith? " Angel called from the doorway, closing the door behind him with a loud _click_. " You still here?"

Faith's eyes darted to Angel's voice. Buffy's did as well, looking equally as upset and uncomfortable as before. Without warning, Faith shoved Buffy into the one of the many closets in the estate. " Mmmh-!" The petite blond made a irritated sound of protest, as the brunette cupped her hand over her mouth to silence her. " Chill for a minute, 'kay B? Just until I figure out a way to break your visit to him. He's gonna need a warning ahead of time. " She whispered urgently. Buffy's sudden appearance would not be something Angel would take in stride. She was certain of that.

The older Slayer glared at Faith, annoyed that she was doing this now but also annoyed she had allowed her to surprise her so easily. _' Yeah, but in a closet? Really?' _was on the tip of Buffy's ever loose tongue but she forced herself to stay quiet, realizing the logic in that statement. So, Buffy settled on simply glaring at her.

Seeing Buffy somehow obey her ( Shocker of the century to her, due to the blonde's willful desposition), she hastily shut the door behind her. " Yeah, Angel. Still here. " Faith replied, forcing her voice to sound casual. She sauntered up to Angel's position who was currently standing a few feet from the door _' Close one, too. Almost didn't react quick enough. ' _Faith reflected, relieved. " So, how did the dusting gig go? " She asked, feigning interest. Truthfully, she didn't give a crap, too busy thinking of _how _she was going to break to him his ex's visit.

" Uneventful. Not much of a challenge, really. Zompires are just too easy. I actually prefer regular vampires. " Angel replied, genuinely disappointed. It was never much of a fight anymore. After everything that happened, fighting seemed to temperarily ease his guilt just for a second at least. Action helped him get his mind of things, if only for a moment.

" Sorta agree. When your in the mood for a real ass-kicking, zompires don't always satisfy. " The slayer answered, her tone sympathatic. " But hey. Easy kill. Not always a bad thing. The dumb ones can be fun to beat around." She said, forcing a smile.

" Maybe. " Angel said, smiling slightly. However, his mood abruptly changed. A deep, confused frown etched his features as he smelled a achingly familar scent. _' That scent ... it's Buffy's. I'd know it anywhere. '_ Angel identified, shock and confusion spiralling his mind. _' But that doesn't make any sense. Buffy wouldn't be here. She's at San Francisco, isn't she? I have to be imagining it ... wouldn't be the first time. ' _He had to be mistaken. Buffy being here would be the last thing to happen. It was just wishful thinking on his part. But it was so strong ...

Faith stared at him in concern, noticing his sudden odd change of attitude. " What's up with the face, Angel? Something wrong? " She inquired, though inwardly she already knew exactly what was bothering him. _' Damnit. Didn't get a chance to explain him to yet. Stupid vampire sense of smell. ' _

Angel stared at her for a minute, a look of terrible confusion and hopelessness on his handsome face. " It's ... nothing. " Angel said evasively, sitting on the couch slowly. It had to be nothing. But his nose was telling him the complete opposite.

She joined him, crossing over the hall to the where Angel was. " Sure looks like something. Just tell me, already. " Faith pressed, preparing for his inevitable barrage of questions or worse, "I hate myself" moments.

Angel hesitated for a moment but Faith continued to stare at him intensely, pushing him to tell her. He sighed, before finally admitting. " It's Buffy. " He admitted. " Her scent ... it's here. And fresh." He turned to his friend, brown soulful eyes searching. " It's telling me she was here ... Was she? " He asked, his voice coming out a bit panicky and urgent.

Faith paused for a moment, mulling over her next words carefully. " You're the vampire, Angel. You can trust your super smelling or whatever, right?" She said vaguely.

" She was. " He confirmed, getting up quickly from his sitting position. Angel immediately began to pace back and forth, anxiety clear in every line in his body. " Buffy's not supposed to be here. " He stopped for a moment, turning to her in frustration. " She's supposed to be in San Francisco, not _here _here. " He babbled, soon beginning to pace once more. " Having a normal life. Working as a bodyguard from some place called Deepscan. "

Faith narrowed her eyes in suspicion. " How do you know all that? Don't tell me you were keeping tabs on her too? " She queried. He did the exact same for Connor. To be honest, even though she knew had had good intentions doing it ... she found it a bit creepy.

Buffy also heard this from him in his frantic mutterings ( To be honest, she didn't know how she could ignore it. His voice was pretty loud when he was freaking out over something) while still in the closet, barely stopped herself from gasping. _' He keeps TABS on me!? How totally annoying. I can take care of myself! He knows that!' _Buffy thought angrily, the realization a blow to her independence and pride. Even when she ignored him and refused to speak with him for so many months since Giles's death, he still had to be so damn overprotective!

Angel stared at Faith, startled that he had let that slip out so easily. He cleared his throat and sat back down on the couch. " No, I wasn't. " He admitted, his voice quiet. " Willow told me before she left. After we helped her with the scythe and stopped her from going dark in Quor'toth, I asked her how Buffy was. She didn't want to at first but she seemed to trust me a little bit more. That's how I know. I ... I just wanted to know if she was alright. That's all. " He stated matter-of-factly, his voice sincere.

Buffy felt complete shock hit her. _' Will was here?! She came HERE with the scythe?! Why didn't she tell me?! She could have. And how in the hell did she get into the hell dimension, Quor'toth?' _ Buffy wondered, dazed by this information. Some part of her felt hurt that Willow didn't tell her she was going to meet Angel and Faith, but a larger part of her felt relieved. Willow probably just didn't want to have her involved or burdan her with the information. _' Good 'ole Will.' _She thought, gratitude and affection for her friend hitting her. At the time, she probably wouldn't of been able to handle it and she knew that. She could barely handle it now.

Angel appeared to be continuing talking to Faith, his tone sad. " Faith ... I don't want Buffy involved with this ... With me. She doesn't deserve this. She deserves to be back in California ... and as far away from me as possible. "

Faith's expression was sympathatic, pity for her vampire friend welling up inside her. " Angel, you have to face her sometime. Sooner or later, it was gonna happen. You know that. "

" No, I didn't know. " He reiterated, a surprising amount of indigantion in his voice. He got up again to pace once for a moment, before whirling around in his wild movements to turn to his friend again. " Last time I saw Buffy, she couldn't even _look _at me. She never wanted to see me again. You would know. " Angel pointed out, his tone still angry. " I deserve it. I don't deserve her forgiveness! If Buffy never forgives me, it's just my punishment. "

Faith stood up too and put her hands up in a calming gesture. " She was just hurt. Her foster pops just died! What do you expect from her? She said a lot of not-so-good things about you, but she was grieving. Buffy may be pissed at you since then, but she doesn't hate you. " Faith indicated, desperately trying to soothe Angel from one of his self-loathing moments. " She doesn't have it in her."

Angel was silent for a moment, his dark eyes full of pain. " Even if she does decide to forgive me ... I shouldn't accept it. " He said finally, turning his eyes away from Faith's face. " After all the suffering I put her through ... all I ever give her is heartbreak and grief. Buffy's a great person, much better than most people out there, especially me. More than almost anyone I know, she deserves better. Someone like me? I just ruin her life. That's exactly why it's for the best that cut myself out of her life completely. That's what I've been _trying _to do. " Angel turned his head to look at her. " That's why Buffy shouldn't be here. "

Faith glared at him. " Y'know what? You're right. You cause B a lot of suffering. Maybe everything you say is completely true. But if I remember right and I think I am, everything you did last year _was _for the world. But it was also so Buffy could _live, _too! If it wasn't for you, she'd be destroyed. Popping up daisies or whatever again. So ya screwed up? Who doesn't?" Faith shrugged before continuing. " But that doesn't change the fact that you're the reason B's even still breathing right now. "

" But at what cost? " Angel countered. " I'm the reason innocent people died in trying to 'save the world'. With Buffy, I had to destroy everything she stood for, all her morals, sunk her as low as she could possibly go. Until she became a shell of her former shelf. I wish a thousand times it didn't have to be that way. Buffy has every right to hate me for that. " He took a deep breath. " Honestly though ... I'd do it again if I had to. As long as Buffy survives, it doesn't matter if she hates me her entire life. Better than her loving me and dying. " Angel admitted. " I never want to go through that again. "

Faith walked closer up to him, poking him in the chest forcefully. " Well, it's too late now. B's here, so stop moping about it. Don't you miss her? " She muttered angrily.

" Of course I do. I miss Buffy. " He agreed sadly. " But all I ever do is complicate things for her. She deserves better than that. I can't be selfish with her like that. Not now, after everything-"

" Yeah, yeah. After everything you did to her. Killing Giles, breaking her heart, making her suffer. " Faith recited easily. " But I keep hearing this from you. 'Buffy deserves better' , ' Buffy deserves this'. How 'bout _you _stop chosing what's best for her and let her make her own choices for once. She's not some little kid that needs to have you protect her all the time, Angel. If B decides to forgive you and choses to help you or whatever, then it's _her _choice. Not yours. " She stated unwaveringly.

" But I can't, Faith. I don't want to hurt Buffy. I _never _want to but I seem to do it anyway. " Angel argued pitifully. " What if it happens again? I don't want that for her. "

" Well then, it's B's fault for deciding that. It would have been her decision and it would be her fault for giving you another chance. " Faith said bluntly. " But at least let her decide for herself. "

Angel looked away. " She probably won't forgive me anyway. She _shouldn't _forgive me. "

" Remember what I said eariler? B may be angry as hell towards you but it's beyond her hating ability to hate you forever. You're Angel, after all. "

" Right. " He scoffed, disbelief scoring through him.

" Watch me be right. You just can't see past your extra broodiness to see that I'm not tripping here. " Faith said convincingly, a smile crossing her face. Angel was being hard on himself again, like always lately. She knew he wouldn't admit it but Buffy cared about him too much to not forgive him. Hell, she even knew Buffy didn't want to care as much as she does now. Angel needed a lot of things to happen for him: Redemption and atonement for Gile's death being one of them. But also needed the forgiveness of his Slayer too, no matter how much he said he doesn't deserve it. After all, she was still a strong, motivating factor in his life.

* * *

Buffy had stood in speechless, stunned silence from her place in the closet. She couldn't even speak she was so stunned, even if she wanted to. She had heard every word Angel had spoken about her. How she deserved better, she shouldn't forgive him, and that all he ever caused her was pain and he _hated _it. She agreed with all the pain he had caused her but she had never expected him to be so passionate about wanting to stay out of her life. Buffy didn't see his expressions from here but she could here it in his voice. It stirred some long-buried feelings inside her, besides her remaining anger she felt: empathy and gratitude. She never thought Angel would create those feelings in her again but she also couldn't believe that he was still so devoted to her after all these years. _' I know Faith told me he felt that way but it's so different hearing it. It's true ... that part of him really never changed. ' _Buffy could not erase the heartfelt words out of her head.

But she also recalled what Faith had bluntly and straightforwardly told him. That it was _her _decision if she wanted to forgive him or cut him out of her life completely. She still didn't know if she could ever forgive him completely. She still felt anger at Angel's misguided choices of last year and she would not sit idly by and make excuses for his terrible actions. Not like Faith. She would confront him about it, express her anger, hear him out, and then she'll decide: Did she want to give him another chance or was it far too late for that? She truly didn't know but she would soon see.

* * *

Angel began pacing again. " So ... where _is _Buffy? If she's really here in London. How do I face her? " Angel fired at Faith. " _Why _is she here? This is the last place she'd visit. "

" Chill, Angel. Not gonna lie, B's still pretty pissed at you. " Faith admitted sympathatically. " So, prepare for B to launch insults at you. You're best bet is to just explain yourself honestly. B doesn't have the patience for anything else but the complete truth. "

" I'm not gonna try and justify myself. It's impossible. " Angel said immediately. " And lying to Buffy about everything would only make things worse. Make me feel even more guilty than I already am. " He replied, his tone miserable.

" And as for the _why _and the_ where_ ... " The brunette began uncomfortably, wondering how in the hell she was going to tell him Buffy somehow found out about his efforts to ressurrect Giles and was here to stop him because she believed it to be wrong. Nothing stopped Buffy once she made her mind up on something. Especially in a serious situation like this, her stuborn and orneriness is unparalleled. _' Nothing stops a slayer on a misson, 'specially her. ' _ She noted tiredly. This was exactly why trying to tell Buffy to go home or it was a mistake to come here ( Besides the fact that she travelled all the way to San Francisco and telling her off was too bitchy even for Faith). Buffy would never budge. She admired that trait of hers at times but right now, it felt like a terrible inconvience.

" Faith, get to the point. " Angel insisted, his voice uncharacteristically impatient.

Suddenly, one of the closet doors was opened abruptly, almost pulled off its hinges. None other than Buffy stepped out delicately, her patience finally wearing thin. " The ' where' is the here, actually. " Buffy quiped dryly. " And the why? Hard question to answer. Let's just say, I'm here because I need to be. " Buffy stated vaguely. Angel was gaping at her in utter shock at the unexpected entrance while Faith looked unsurprised, but annoyed. Buffy gazed steadily at Angel, her expression unreadable. " Hey Angel. Miss me?"

* * *

**A/N:** I finally finished the 3rd chapter XD, for those of you that care anyways :P. I enjoyed Angel's hating myself moments earlier because it's completely in character to me :). And Faith XD. I just love her. She's such a good and loyal friend to Angel. I made sure to portray that in this chapter :). I hope Buffy's character is in character. I decided to add in her thoughts over Giles because he is also a major factor for her reason for coming here. Not just Angel, though she (grudgingly) feels he needs her help and only she can do it. She's finally taking responsibilty, like Buffy often does eventually even when she doesn't want to. This is the case here. I also wanted to show that Buffy truly hasn't forgiven him and is indeed furious with him still. I hope I showed that well because I believe Buffy feels exactly like this in canon. More of that will be shown next chapter. ;)

**Reviews are something I appreciate, even though I haven't too many yet XD. If you feel I'm getting something wrong in my portrayal please tell me. I truly hate OOCness ;D!**


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